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Explore Your Gender Identity with the Gender Reveal Spread

  • 8 min read
Bold orange and yellow text reads “explore your gender identity with the gender reveal spread” on a split dark and beige background. On the right, a group of diverse individuals with bright, expressive clothing and hairstyles smile and pose together, radiating joy and inclusivity.

Are you curious about how tarot can help you explore your gender identity? Maybe you’ve been searching for a way to dive deeper into who you are, beyond labels and expectations, and tarot feels like the perfect tool to guide you. How exactly can you use tarot to uncover those truths? Let’s explore that together.

Tarot has been a powerful tool for me in understanding my gender identity, especially through gender tarot readings and spreads. It’s something I started using around the same time I realised I was non-binary, and it’s been an invaluable companion on this journey of self-discovery. Over the years, I’ve done countless readings for myself, often brushing against themes of identity and authenticity, but I’d never created or used a spread specifically focused on gender. That is, until now.

Today, I decided to create a gender tarot spread to explore my identity more consciously. I’m calling it the Gender Reveal spread. I came up with a 5-card spread that felt meaningful and personal to my journey. Then, I used the spread on myself, and honestly, it was such a fucking affirming experience. It helped me wrestle with questions I’ve asked myself before, but seeing the cards laid out this way gave me a fresh perspective. It reaffirmed the journey I’ve been on, and it gave me deeper insight into where I’m headed. This process felt transformative, as it helped me engage with the parts of my identity I sometimes shy away from and confront them with compassion.

I want to share that spread with you today, along with my personal journey using it. If you’re exploring your gender identity, I hope this post and spread can serve as a helpful tool for you too. Tarot is a way to ask ourselves the hard questions, and this gender identity tarot spread offers a framework for navigating one of life’s most personal journeys. And if you’d like, we can even use it together in a reading.

The Gender Reveal Spread

Here’s the gender reveal tarot spread I created to explore this deeply personal journey:

Card 1: Your Core Self

Who you are at your essence, beyond societal labels or expectations. This card represents your truest self, the part of you that remains constant even as external factors shift and change. It invites you to reflect on what feels inherently “you.”

Card 2: External Influences

How society, family, or external factors are shaping your experience of gender. This card shines a light on the pressures and expectations that come from outside yourself, helping you see how they may be influencing your journey.

Card 3: Internal Dialogue

The thoughts, feelings, and beliefs you hold about your gender. This position helps you identify the inner conversations you’re having with yourself—both the supportive ones and the doubts that might be holding you back.

Card 4: Embracing Authenticity

What energy, mindset, or action can help you align with your true self. This card provides insight into the path forward, offering guidance on how to step into your authentic self with courage and confidence.

Card 5: Moving Forward

The next step on your journey toward self-understanding and acceptance. It encourages action, clarity, or simply the space to continue exploring at your own pace.

This spread is designed to meet you where you are, whether you’re just beginning to explore your gender identity or have been on this journey for some time. It’s a tool to help you pause, reflect, and recalibrate.

My Journey Through this Gender Identity Tarot Spread

A five-card tarot spread laid out on a white background. At the center (card 1) is “the lovers,” representing the core self. Above it, on the left (card 2), is “the star,” symbolizing external influences. On the right (card 3), is “three of wands,” representing internal dialogue. Below the center, (card 4), is the “nine of cups” reversed, representing embracing authenticity. At the bottom (card 5), is “death” reversed, representing moving forward. Each card is labeled with its position in orange text.

When I sat down with this spread, I wasn’t sure what to expect. But the cards I pulled felt so spot on, it was like they were speaking directly to my soul. Here’s what came up for me:

My Core Self: The Lovers

The Lovers in my deck, the Four Twenty Tarot, features a naked woman and man by a volcano, surrounded by trees that evoke the Garden of Eden. Above them is an androgynous figure on a cloud, holding a joint and looking out serenely. This imagery felt so me. The Lovers often symbolises self-love and the union of all parts of yourself, and that’s exactly where I am right now—on a journey to embrace and love all aspects of myself, even the parts I struggle with. It’s about integrating the complexities and contradictions of my identity, which feels deeply tied to my gender journey.

External Influences: The Star

The Star represents authenticity and individuality, and for me, it’s a reminder that I’ve always stood out. People have often praised me for being distinctive, but I’ve never really understood it—I’m just being myself. This card affirmed the pressure I’ve felt to conform to others’ expectations while also celebrating the fact that I’ve always managed to stay true to myself, even when it’s been hard. It reminded me to see my uniqueness not as a challenge but as a strength.

Internal Dialogue: Three of Wands

The Three of Wands felt like uncharted territory, which is exactly how I feel about gender. I’m agender and under the non-binary umbrella, but navigating what that means has been like standing on the edge of an ocean, unsure whether to dive in or wait. This card affirmed that it’s okay to be in this exploratory phase and that I don’t have to have it all figured out. It encouraged me to embrace the unknown with curiosity instead of fear.

Embracing Authenticity: Nine of Cups (Reversed)

This card was a deep one. I’ve always interpreted the Nine of Cups as being about the people we admire or put on pedestals. Seeing it reversed made me realise that I’ve been comparing myself too much to others, looking for validation outside myself. The message here was clear: I need to let go of the idea that my identity needs to mirror anyone else’s to be valid. My experience is valid because it’s mine, and I need to stop measuring myself against others. Letting go of this comparison has already started to free me to see my identity in a clearer light.

Moving Forward: Death (Reversed)

Death reversed often speaks to resistance to letting go, and this hit home for me. Moving forward, I need to release the version of myself that tried so hard to fit into certain boxes. It’s not about anyone else—it’s about honouring my journey and letting go of who I thought I needed to be to make space for who I truly am. This card was a powerful reminder that endings are necessary to make way for beginnings.

What I Learned from the Gender Reveal Spread

Using the Gender Reveal tarot spread gave me so much clarity. Through this process, I realised that my journey with gender isn’t about finding all the answers right away—it’s about embracing the process, the questions, and the messy middle. It reminded me that my experience is valid, even if it doesn’t look like anyone else’s, and that letting go of the past is an essential part of moving forward. The cards brought up themes of self-love, individuality, and releasing external expectations—all things I needed to hear.

Conclusion: Try the Gender Reveal Tarot Spread

So, how can you explore your gender identity with tarot? The answer lies in the cards. The Gender Reveal tarot spread offers a powerful framework to uncover truths, reflect on your journey, and gain deeper insight into who you are. Whether you try it yourself or book a reading with me, this spread provides the clarity and space you need to navigate your gender identity with confidence. You can use it on your own or book a one-on-one reading with me to explore it together. A 30-minute session, like a Get Your Shit Together reading, is perfect for diving into this journey. This spread provides a safe space to reflect and connect with yourself, so take your time with each card, and remember—you don’t need to have all the answers right away. Sometimes, simply asking the questions is the most powerful step.